... and we have a winner!
After the line-up was finalized Usotsuki Barbie's manager finally got back to me. They are in fact interested in the tour.They are one of the most entertaining live bands in all of Japan and I would love to bring them to Canada. However, the manager's list of demands was so ridiculous I thought I was reading J Lo's rider. Usotsuki Barbie only have 3 band members but the manager wanted me to pay full travel costs and hotel for: the band, the manager, 2 sound techs, 1 roadie, and 1 stage director. 8 people in total!! First of all, why 2 PA techs?! Is the 1st sound tech going to monitor the 1st 20 min of their set and then the next guy takes over when the first guy is exhausted from turning a few dials and giving the "thumbs up" signal a couple times. Or do they split the board so that one tech takes 12 channels on the left and the other takes 12 channels on the right? Which begs the question: when they go to the washroom does one sound tech need the other to wipe his ass? 2 roadies would have made more sense. Not that I would have paid a single dime to bring even a single roadie. And stage director? What the blood? Why on earth would one band need their own stage director? If anything, that's my job or my responsibility to find someone locally to manage time for all the participating bands, not just Usotsuki Barbie. On top of completely covering airfare/travel costs for all 8 people, they wanted me to pay for all their meals. They also wanted a $1000 guarantee. But the kicker was: they wanted me to pay for 8 separate hotel rooms every day for each person in their group. LMMxFxAO!
So will I agree to their demands and bring them on tour?
.. .. ..
There's a better chance of Rebecca Black winning a Nobel Prize in Literature for her intellectual discourse on the temporal relationships of the 7 days of the week and the existential crisis inherent in choosing between the front seat or the back.
"Tomorrow is Saturday. And Sunday.... comes afterwards." Shakespeare. Keats. Wordsworth. Poe. Frost. Meet the poet to define our generation: Rebecca Black. Armageddon is jus' round the corner.
When I replied back to Usotsuki Barbie's manager I was actually very level-headed and diplomatic while calmly explaining the purpose of the tour and why his demands were a 'bit' unreasonable. He seemed to understand and wrote back that he hoped I'd still consider them for future tours. I'm actually still on good terms with Sebastian X and their manager as well. Maybe NMFT vol 4 will be: Usotsuki Barbie, Sebastian X, Jennifer Lopez and Rebecca Black. 'Course J Lo needs the front seat cuz of her gargantuan azz!